The Bump

On Kirra's birthday this year we found out we were pregnant.  We had not been trying to get pregnant so I was kind of in shock and a little disappointed.  I like to be in control of things of things in my life and this baby seemed to be coming too soon.  Knox is too young,  Kirra is starting school and my life is finally getting a little easier, I finally started loosing weight.  And then there is the sickness.  That is how I knew I was pregnant.  I was sick all day and I knew that I could expect to be sick everyday after for the next few months.  All these thoughts were running through my head and I was terrified.  And I felt like an awful mother for having these thoughts.  I became very depressed.  Then somewhere along the way this baby found a way to steal my heart.  I don't know when it started but I gained a connection with this sweet baby like I haven't felt before.  I know it is silly but I feel like this baby is very aware of our family and already loves us.  My kids love to feel the baby kick and talk to the baby, and take naps on my belly while they "snuggle the baby."  Maybe it is seeing how excited they are but I really feel strongly that this little one is supposed to be ours and is supposed to come at this time.  I am pretty sure this will be our last baby so I really wanted to get some pretty pregnancy pictures.  For one reason or another I never did them with my other two.  It actually turned into a really fun evening and Trevor did such a good job.  I usually get really nervous having my picture taken because I am not very photogenic and I am trying to focus on keeping my lazy eye open, and keeping a good posture and not looking stupid in front of whoever is taking my picture.  It was so much easier to relax when it was just Trevor.  I think he did a pretty great job and I am so glad I have these to remember this difficult but awesome time in my life.